The Small Pleasures of Life

Due to popular demand, I have decided to resurrect this blog from death. No, I did not fall off the face of the planet, but rather got caught up in the little known, yet extreme sport of library loitering that I forgot how cathartic writing was (oh, how soon we forget our roots). Actually, I stopped because I forgot my login name and password and thus could not even access my own blog. In my defense though, I have created exactly 5,345,656,768,354 usernames and passwords in my entire life for random websites that I cannot possibly be bothered to remember except for maybe my bank account and Blackboard grades. Current bank account balance: (-$60,000).

Anyway, here's a little toast to what I hope will be a little less rocky beginning to the world of medicine. Ironically, I created this thing to document my life, only to find that there is very little of it. Nevertheless, I find happiness in the small pleasures of life, such as going to the toilet every couple hours and walking home from the library at 1 am. According to bagofnothing.com, the above photo is a "cordless lighted toilet seat," and I am convinced that I should own it one day. In fact, I would have asked for one for Christmas had I known of its existence, but since I just googled it 5 minutes ago, I suppose I'll have to wait another year for Santa to deliver the goods. In the day-to-day bustle of lectures and powerpoint slides, coming home to a neon blue, lighted toilet seat can be a godsend. All it needs is a nice motivational tune like Tupac's "Last Muthafucka Breathin'" after each flush. After 10 hours of hardcore studying, I damn well better be the "last motherfucka breathin'," you gunners be damned! 

Anyway, I guess after a cordless lighted toilet seat, I should also ask for a taser. Given the unreliability of safe rides run by sketchy "service" fraternities (I want my Gray's Anatomy and BRS review books back!), I find walking home much, much faster. Besides, how awesome is tazing someone? You get all the satisfaction of electrocuting your attacker while avoiding 15 years' imprisonment for voluntary manslaughter (not to mention an opportunity to practice defibrillation! Two birds with one stone!). 

So you see, med school has made me an incredibly hedonistic, yet practical person. While I cannot enjoy the finer joys of prostate massage induced by excretion, I can certainly admire the blinky blue lights of a toilet seat run by AAA batteries. 

(Below: a demonstration of the tazing device).

A New Way of Life

19 days.

It's been 2 weeks and 5 days since I've begun this ridiculous adventure into the world of action potentials, protein compositions, and Einstein's glial cells. Who would've thought that my life would have dichotomized so completely in a little less than a month? It was not so long ago that I was deep in my knees in Shakespearean literature, seeing life through the post-modernist eyes of T.S. Eliot. What a wasteland it is.

Happy memories. Memories of London, the Royal College of Surgeons, and the aroma of tasty pastys while traveling through the brightly colored Underground. I can just barely remember the joys of a great glass of wine, spending entire evenings and early mornings wandering around the city trying to keep my friends from passing out in the middle of the street in a drunken stupor.

Now what?

Now I drink beer in the middle of the afternoon after a 3-hr exam. Some things never change, and yet they're never quite the same.

I may never again eat another Digestive biscuit in Regent's Park, but I sure as heck am going to enjoy a bottle of wine with friends.

And this time I will know exactly why they're vomiting.

Donde estas, life?

As I embark on this lovely journey that is called medical school, there is one thing that becomes very apparent very quickly: you have no life. Having come out of the working world, I had heard rumors of this pseudo-state of isolation, but never actually allowed myself to believe in this sad, sad fact. In fact, as proof of my non-living status, I recently got a phone call that went as follows:

Someone in the Real World: "Hello, is this LAG?"
Me: Yes
SRW: I'm just calling to confirm a reservation for two at TenPenh for 5:30pm this evening
Me: Uhh....(clueless. Wondering if it has anything to do with posttranslational protein modification, which it clearly doesn't. Damn)
SRW: Ma'am? Are you still there?
Me: Um, could you just cancel that reservation?
SRW: Sure. We're sorry you can't make it, but we hope you will come back another time.

So after hanging up the phone I realized that I had made reservations for restaurant week with a friend of mine who went on vacation. That was when I was a real person and went out to places like restaurants, drinking wine and having normal non-science conversations with actual people. Now I just sit in my room and have conversations with myself about protein trafficking.

Yes, I'm going to savor this journey for the next four years.

"Healthcare is Not a Right"

Who knows what a can of worms I'm opening by posting this article, "Health Care is Not a Right", but I found it an interesting take on the whole debate. As a student about to enter into the morass called "American Healthcare," I thought it prudent to analyze whether or not socialized medicine is a good idea. To those who say that quality of care can never suffer (whether it be the perceived "nobility" of medical professionals or otherwise), I would suggest reading "Doctors Press Senate to Undo Medicare Costs" for consideration. Physicians are increasingly refusing to accept Medicare patients on the grounds that their practices need to stay financially solvent. Try telling that to the multi-million dollar insurance moguls who continue to lobby for more protection from House and Senate Republicans.

On a related note, the whole idea of "rights" being a moral prerogative is a fascinating one. Where did people get the idea that they are entitled to the services of another human being? When my mom loses her job, why isn't it her "right" to continue working at the company, forcing it to absorb the losses? Business seems to be the one aspect of American society that is "free" in the original sense of the word. They are "free" to hire and fire at will, and while they do provide compensation for perhaps a month after termination, it is a small price to pay for the savings that they reclaim. Insurance is just one big business, and all this talk about Medicare cuts and coverage is just ignoring the 5,000 lb elephant in the room--Humana, BCBS, Aetna, Metlife, Kaiser, etc etc. People aren't questioning premiums because 1) they need the coverage 2) the lobbyists are too powerful 3) it's easier to attack at the point-of-service. The nebulous middle man always gets away.

What's another couple hundred....?

My advice to people trying to save money is to NEVER get into road cycling. It is an incredibly addictive sport which is ridiculously fun and expensive. The following photo was captioned as "The Best-Looking Lemond Ever Made." I have to agree.

One of the dangers of making a salary and not paying rent is that you think you can afford things you really can't. I found a pristine 2001 Lemond Tourmalet with Selle Italia seat, Reynolds steel tubing, and Shimano tiagra components going for $350. I really shouldn't purchase it, but man is that a good deal. Someone help me.

Misgivings

It is not uncommon to feel anxiety when undertaking a huge task that involves a lot of time, effort, and money. Medical school is one of those things. People say that if you have not seriously considered quitting or choosing a different career, then you are probably crazy.

I think there is something to that.

There was an article in the NYT today entitled "Eyes Bloodshot, Doctors Vent Their Discontent" about physicians growing more and more dissatisfied with their careers. In the past, autonomy and real patient care could sustain the brutal working hours demanded by the profession, but nowadays, decreasing insurance reimbursement, increasing legal liabilities, and general exhaustion are driving doctors toward different careers--or even worse, depression.

Stories like that worry me a lot. It isn't enough for admissions officers to make sure that their students have "outside interests" to relieve stress. Yes, everyone needs a hobby. No, people do not need to be run into the ground. Do you want your doctor running on 3 hours of sleep to be making critical decisions about your health? Not reading your complete chart because it takes too much time and they only get paid based on volume?

I can see the rationale in overworking doctors. It's what the system has become. We're long past the days when you visited one primary care physician throughout your life. Now we have an arsenal of specialists with their newfangled instruments designed to milk insurance companies for all they're worth. After all, an MRI scan is more easily justifiable than "talking to patient about weight-loss strategies." It's always boggled me that lawyers can be paid to talk--even pick up the phone--while doctors don't. Both dispense advice, so why the discrepancy?

But of course, there is little sympathy to be had. Doctors, after all, make an amazing salary. Is it all that amazing though, to go through nearly 11 years of training (including undergrad classes and MCATs) and brutal residency to make some money to pay off $200,000-300,000 worth of loans? Most corporation CEOs do less than that and make a heck of a lot more. I consider the compensation just dues for such a difficult task. Maybe I'm expecting too much.

Or maybe I shouldn't do this at all. I like being able to take a ride along the Potomac River after work, meet up with friends, relax, have fun. I wonder if giving all of that up makes me crazy. When once I joked around about being a masochist, now I wonder if I really am.

Cycling Bliss

One of the great things about working is that I finally have time to take up the hobbies/interests/fetishes that I've always wanted to do as a student. For example, I wanted to go sculling, scuba diving, kite surfing, and real rock climbing in college. What I actually did was splash around in the tub, watch people fly kites, and climb knobby walls. Maybe I was just lazy, but actually, it was probably because I had no money.

So, now that I'm earning income and don't pay any rent, I can spend, SPEND SPEND!!! To prove my point, I just bought a new bike (see previous post).

However, this is not just ANY bike. It's a cool one. I can remember my early days on a bike. I was small, slow, and it wasn't a lot of fun. I think I rode it twice and for the rest of its dumpy life it sat outside, rusting. Suffice it to say, I didn't have much of an interest in bikes after that, but my Fuji is FAST (like all unbelievably awesome things in life; e.g., race cars, jet planes, a terrible date...).

It's awesomeness isn't only that it's light and quick, but it also gets me to school! In fact, there is a trail that takes me right to med school. I tested it today and it takes about 30 min, the parking is free, I don't have to pay for the metro, I'm not polluting the environment, AND I get exercise (goodness knows I'm not going to get any otherwise)! The bicycle is an amazing machine. Simple, perhaps, but some of the best things in life are...simple.

(On a related note, I almost got run over by a car when I lightly bumped some lady's bag and swerved into the road on my way home. The perils of green transportation! Never again will I touch a Gucci bag. Those things are killer. Literally).